A Time of Changes
by MLRinOC
Summary: Ennis deals with the aftermath of losing Jack and finds himself


Based on the character creations of Annie Proulx in "Wyoming Stories – Left Behinds,

Brokeback Mountain. This is written with no sought reward, other than the enjoyment

of "Ennis and Jack" fans around the world.

Tempest

"Wake up cowboy" a voice said in Ennis's dream. "You got a lot to do today".

"Dammit Jack!" Ennis replied in a slumber. "The sun isn't even up yet. Why the hell can't you

let me sleep in even one day! It's Sunday, for Criss sake!". "You know I'm always

gonna pester you when you're asleep." Jack grinned. "It's about the only time I can. Besides, some

big things are gonna happen today. Now get yer ass outta that bed."

Ennis awoke, opened his eyes and looked around at the emptiness of the trailer. Just his hat on the

opposite wall, his mother's quilt at the foot of his bed lit by the glow of the corner metal

fireplace he'd added on inside of the trailer a few months ago. He thought about his Jack, like

most mornings after having dreamt about him the night before. He remembered his smile, his blue

eyes that could bore a hole through his very soul. He would dream of their intimate time, as seldom

as it was. These memories of his love for Jack kept him pressing on, along with the love for his

two daughters. The only things he had left in the world.

Ennis wrapped a blanket around himself to repel the bitter cold wind as he opened the door to

retrieve the morning paper from the steps, shutting the door quickly to keep what heat

remained inside. He put the coffee on and began flipping through the pages of the paper,

only reading what caught his eye, as always. He couldn't be less interested in the society page.

Not a real sports nut beyond scores. Ads for farm equipment would catch his eye. He turned to

the next page and there it was: a full-page ad for the grand re-opening of the Riverton Cafe.

"I'll be damned." he thought aloud. "They finally did it. My baby girls finally did it." His heart

swelled with pride and his eyes filled with tears only a proud father would know, and that no

other person would ever be allowed to witness. He decided that he would visit their new place

early, before the after-church crowd could get there. Then on to the hardware

store to get those much needed Winter supplies.

He went in and showered and shaved to make himself presentable for today's occasion. He

wiped the steam off the mirror and paused for a moment. "How did I get so damned old so

damed fast?" he asked himself, staring at his lanky frame, a couple of lines across his forehead,

the callouses all over his hands and the dusting of grey on his hair. "I don't feel any older! Why do

I have to look it so damned much?" he asked aloud. Almost as if on cue, a song filled his head.

"God damn you, Jack Twist! Take that song outta my head right now! Oh, not again!

Dammit why do you torment me so much! If you're gonna drop a song in my ear, could it at

least be Johnny? Merle? George? Hell, I'd even Take the Beach Boys. Damn, even Janice Joplin

would be better than this! Knock it off!" The music stopped. And somewhere, elsewhere a pair

of blue eyes and a big smile laughed hysterically. "My revenge is a bitch, cowboy!" an unheard

voice replied in a boyish laugh.

He pulled on his favorite blue jeans and brown workboots. He opened his closet almost

oblivious to the shirts and postcard hanging on the door. He decided on the white shirt with the

wide black stripes today. And of course his new forest green jacket Alma Jr. Gave him for his

birthday. He grabbed his white Stetson off the wall. Almost as an afterthought he turned

and buttoned the top button of Jack's shirt. "You're coming along today? I want you to

be with me for this." A silent voice from deep in his heart answered to him. "Friend,

I wouldn't miss this for the world. And just wait 'til you see what's about to happen."

Ennis pulled up in his pickup in front of the remodeled cafe. He remembered the old place well.

The Knife & Fork Cafe. The place where Cassie's heart was broken. Where his heart was broken. Where

all of the world seemed so very wrong at the time. Where he felt like a stranger lost in a foreign land

and nobody understood his language.

Now it was like brand new. He noticed the slate rock and dark bricks along the entrance

complimented by ground cover that could withstand the foulest weather. "Well somebody sure

did their homework here." Ennis thought. He peered into the lightly tinted glass doors

around the "Closed" sign which would be up for another half hour or so. Then like a

song of a bluebird Ennis heard Francine's voice "Alma! Kurt! Daddy's here!" It was

the most beautiful sound his ears had heard in weeks.

The double doors swung open and Alma Jr. and Francine welcomed him right in and closed the

door quickly. "Oh, daddy I'm so glad you made it!" Jr. said as she and Francine hugged him

from both sides. "Now you two know that I could never miss this. Not after all you talked it

up so much last Summer." Ennis replied. "But I still thought it was gonna happen in November.

If I hadn't got to the paper today I probably would'a missed it." "Daddy, we got 'ta get you a

phone. That's all there is to it.", Francine blurted. "Now you girls know I never had much to

say on the phone. And I'm just a couple 'a miles North.", Ennis answered, not quite willing

to to swallow his pride and tell them that a phone bill could make the difference between having

food and firewood in the slow months.

Kurt entered from the kitchen and extended his hand to Ennis. "Hello sir. We're so glad you

could be here. We sent a note hoping you'd get it." "No way I could miss my baby girls best

day. I heard about it and made it, that's all that matters. You doin' ok, Kurt? You takin' good

care of my girl and her baby sister?" "Oh, yeah. I made enough in Casper to pay for this five

times over." Kurt beamed. "We're gonna be here a looong time."

"Come over here and sit daddy. You want some bacon and eggs? Or we've got a menu you just

won't believe.", Jr. Said. "You know what I like darlin'. Just whatever's handy." They didn't

have much time to catch up. The cafe would be open in just a few minutes. Francine brought

out a plate of buttermilk hotcakes and maple syrup for Ennis. "Thank you, darlin'.", he said.

Jr. opened up the door at eight a.m., the ideal time for a Sunday. Two couples from across

town came in with their children and and elderly couple from the same area where

Ennis lived came in and sat down. Ennis watched as Jr. chit-chatted with the customers and

Kurt and Francine tended to the kitchen and counter work. Ennis was so proud. He could barely

contain his joy for the two girls and Kurt. He slipped a five dollar bill under his plate, as was

his way to never be a burden. He kissed the girls goodbye with a promise to visit often and

left in his truck for the hardware store about a mile down the road.

The Six Degrees

Ennis drove through the town whistling along to the song on the local station. He turned left

onto the main street of town and pulled into the hardware store parking lot. He noticed a city

fire truck parked near the front door and wondered if everything was ok inside. He'd

known the store owners Katie and Brad since he and Alma first dated. He hoped that

whatever it was happening inside didn't involve either of them. He still had a habit of assuming

the worst.

Ennis stepped in the store and cautiously looked around. To his relief Brad and Katie were

both there at the counter ringing up sales and boxing up items like always. Ennis went up

to the counter to say hello. "You two had me worried for a second! I saw the fire dept.

backed up outside and kind'a got spooked." "Oh, that's just the new town paramedic. He just

hired on with the city last week. Part of his deal is to finish up the new firehouse when he's not

on a paramedic run.", Katie said. "He's just here to load up on paint and tile." "Whatever

saves a few buck in taxes works fer me!", Brad laughed. Ennis smiled and walked over looking

for pipe insulation for the outside of his trailer and some weather stripping for the windows and

doors. The Winter was already making it's eminent arrival known right outside.

He found the pipe insulation no problem, but the stripping eluded him. He turned the corner to

ask Brad where it was found and just stopped in his tracks. There at the store counter

was a strangely familiar looking young man, about half his age, wearing the typical black city

issued shirt and trousers, perfectly ironed and creased, a stethoscope around his neck and a radio

blaring some city chatter at his waist. That unheard voice, more like a feeling with words told

Ennis, "This is him.", leaving Ennis confused. "It's him? What the?", Ennis thought, searching

for more but getting nothing.

"Did you find what you needed, Ennis?", Katie inquired. "Um, could you tell me where the, um,

weather stipping is? I can't seem to find it.", Ennis muttered, eyes unable to meet anyone else's.

"Oh, it's over by the storm windows on the third aisle. Oh, by the way, this is our new town

paramedic, James Scott. And James, this is Ennis Del Mar. He's the best damned local rancher

there is. If you ever want the best side of beef or rack of lamb in the county, this is the man to see."

Ennis nearly had to force the words out. "Glad to meet you James. I gotta say, I have all the

respect in the world for folks like you."

"Oh, well it's just what I do. It's good to meet a local, too. I'm brand new around here and can use

all of the friends I can get. I could always use some good porterhouse, too.", James said with a big

smile.

"What brings you to this cow town? You have your fill of the big city or somethin'?",

Ennis asked. "Well, I'm mostly here to help out my mother. She's all alone now

up on our place since my daddy passed last year. I was a paramedic down in Texas up 'till now.

So I applied for this job as soon as I found out about it", James explained. "It just seemed the thing to do."

Ennis mind was racing, but as usual he remained outwardly stoic as if nothing phased him. "Was that

near Childress?", he asked? "Yeah, how'd you know?", James asked. "Just a guess, must be that

accent", Ennis remarked. "Hey, you ever been to Las Vegas? Reno? Be sure to let me know if

you ever wanna go play the horses!", James grinned.

Ennis, however was not amused with the humor. He already knew the answer to the question he

really wanted to ask next. All he was seeing in his mind was a tire iron being used on his Jack by

some hateful men, and this James, who now stood in front of him, finding Jack alone and dead.

Ennis could no longer contain himself. "Excuse me a second." He said in his usual quiet way. He

nearly ran out of the hardware store, around to the back and sat on the back steps. Wave after wave

of sadness hit him, the most since he'd visited Jack's childhood home. He was again alone,

broken in front of the world. And yet remained invisible to it at the same time.

It was then he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to say a word.", James said quietly. Ennis didn't

have any more fight left in him. Not one single ounce of strength to continue hiding from himself or

anyone else. He collapsed leaning back into James' arms. Ennis heard the song that he had sang for his

Jack asleep on his feet on the mountain, the song he learned from his own mother, but now in his own mind, while

being held tightly in the arms of a stranger. "You and I are just alike. It was like this when I lost

Sean. We were partners for almost nine years.", James said.

For awhile, nothing was said. Nothing but the sound of rushing wind could be heard.

"You know, There's a fine young man, Bobby Twist, down in Texas that wants to know about you.",

James said. "He found out about you and his daddy while he was cleaning out the attic in the Childress

house. There was some postcards and a few other things hidden away. Then when he found out I was

moving here he wanted me to try and find an Ennis Del Mar, if he was still around. He really didn't know

much. You weren't in the phone book or anything else. When his daddy died the guys in our engine co.

made friends with him and took him to local games. My brother coached him all the way to his Intramural

baseball team. His daddy would be so proud."

Through a very muffled voice, Ennis managed another question. "You got 'ta tell me something. You the one

that found Jack Twist after he was beaten to death?". "He wasn't beaten!", James replied. "Not at all. One of

those damed cheap truck rims exploded and got him in the face and neck. He wasn't beaten by anybody.

Don't know where you heard that."

Ennis remained silent for awhile, three years of excruciating pain began lifting from him. It was all he could

do to look at James. " I need to go now. But we should talk about all of this", James said quietly. "You may

be the only one left that can tell Bobby about his daddy. He misses his daddy so much and wants to know

the man that he loved. Ennis managed to whisper, "Come to the Riverton Cafe for breakfast next weekend.

I'm there most every Sunday about eight." James nodded, patted Ennis on the shoulder again and walked

back to his truck out front.

Ennis remained out back of the store for awhile. He noticed the clouds above, the feel of the wind, the

waving grass in the field surronding him. He hadn't felt so alive in years.

Reconciliation

Ennis sipped his coffee that Jr. had just poured for him. It was the best coffee he'd ever

tasted at even the finest places he'd been in the state. "Whoever has the chore of

buying this coffee here should get some kinda award." he remarked to Francine. She laughed.

"You better eat those biscuits or they're gonna get cold". Ennis began to swirl the cut up

rolls in the over-easy egg yolks in a practice known in the country as "sopping". An act

alsmost inexcuseable in civilized society. He did that on purpose sometimes just to annoy the

people that would stare at him.

The headlights of a car pulling up to the cafe caught his attention. The sound of the

pipes on the mint Pontiac GTO pulling into the parking space announced that this was

no ordinary local. Ennis watched carefully as a lanky six foot two shadow unfolded

from out of the car, backlit by the first light of day. He watched the figure head toward the

cafe doors and enter almost reverently.

"Hi there!" Jr. said to the gentleman. You just pick any old spot you like and I'll

bring you a menu." "Oh, thank you ma'am, I think I'll join my friend over there by

the window.", James replied. "Oh, sure enough. See if you can get him to talk today,

will 'ya? I think it may take an act of congress to make that happen this week.", Jr.

giggled. "Thanks, ma'am. I'm gonna try."

The tall framed man headed toward Ennis at his table. Ennis couldn't help but

notice the black Durango boots, tight blue jeans and white dress shirt with the

perfectly fit sleeves. "Damn.", he thought to himself, quickly diverting

his eyes as the man sat down next to him.

"How 'ya doin' my friend? You still o.k.?" he asked Ennis. "Oh, ya' know, I just

have to apologise for what happened with me last time I saw you. I'm not like

that, almost never.", Ennis said. "No need to apologise for the way you feel.

Plus I needed that as much as you did", James told him. "I already know how much

you loved Jack."

"I've never been able to talk to anyone about it. I want to, but just can't.

You said you lost somebody too?" "Yes, I did.", James responded. "He was the

one and only love of my life. He died in a trucking accident just outside of Ft.

Worth. I didn't think I'd ever get past all of the pain I was in. And like you, I really

didn't have anyone to talk to. He'd be gone for two or three days at a time and I

was working twenty four hour rotating shifts at the fire dept.. We had almost no

social life at all and not many friends but we had eachtother. And I'd count the

minutes until I could be with him again every hour of every day."

"Well, I know what that's like.", Ennis said earnestly. "Jack and I would

send all of these postacards back and forth all year. Every time I got one my old

heart would leap into my throat and in my mind I'd be with him that very second.

And when we did meet, we were out of control and inseparable. I never thought

it could be like that with men". "Well, being that you were both just kids back in the

sixites kind of explains it all to me", James said. "It just wasn't talked about by

anyone. It just didn't happen or exist. So that's probably it. Not that I'm some kind

of expert or anything. But I do know that love doesn't like to be sorted, labeled

and filed away. I know all about that."

"Do you think Bobby knows everything that was goin' on with Jack and me?", Ennis asked.

"Ya know, looking back I think he did along time ago. I mean kids aren't nearly as dumb

as their folks think they are. He saw what was missing bewtween Jack and Lureen and

was pissed off." James digressed. "He said his daddy started getting angry later in life. And I

think it was because what he wanted was to be with you. But he couldn't. At least that's

how I see it now."

"I just couldn't do it.", Ennis tried to explain, tears welling up in his eyes. "I wanted

it so bad, but it ain't like Dallas up here. I seen people killed since I was a kid.

And they still do sometimes if the wrong folks start talking. There's too much hate. It

gets bad. He and I talked about moving, but I'd never see my girls enough. If he

moved up here the folks would'a hated both of us and he'd never see Bobby. We just

couldn't figure out a way. But listen to me when I tell you this. Jack Twist meant

the world to me. Don't you ever ever forget that. And in that I can't help but feel sorry

about Bobby. I think you know that already. And there is no doubt in my mind that Jack

made it possible for you to find me. He saw what a hell I've been through since

he died."

They got quiet for a time. Staring at the open fire pit in the middle of the cafe.

"So, did you ever get that insulation on your house last week?", James asked.

"Hell no.", Ennis smiled. I got too busy watching the grass grow the rest of

that week. You just wait until you get older. Even the simplest things take on

amazin' entertainment value around here."

"Well", James replied. "I think I may just have to help you get squared away with

that. There's supposed to be a freeze next weekend. And God forbid the pipes on

your toilet freeze!" "Well, believe you me, one year I forgot and that was bad. But

you really don't want to be around during the thaw process. It's downright revoltin'

and you got pipes bustin' everwhere. You just haven't lived until you get woke up

by rusty freezing water being shot at you from the opposite wall of the room",

Ennis laughed. "Oh, and welcome to Wyoming, by the way!" "Oh, lordy.. I'm really

not in Texas anymore, am I cowboy?", James teased. Ennis grinned.

Catalyst

The Winter hit the area hard that year. There was so much going wrong at one time

Ennis found himself working twelve to fourteen hours a day up at Northridge Ranch

only to get home too exhausted to get his own life in any type of order. The trailer

looked terrible, weeds grew high under it and the gravel road leading to it was mostly

mud and grass.

Ennis pulled off the highway and into the court, so tired he could barely stay awake.

The pickup tires ground the grass and weeds even further into the mud as he rounded

the corner to the door of the rather sad looking singlewide. He got the mail out of the

box and went up the wooden stairs, now covered with mud, dirt and leaves.

There was a note on the door, stuck in to the frame. He opened it, but it was already too

dark outside to read it. He went into the kitchen and put his groceries away in the ice box

and sat down to get the boots off his sore feet. He had never been so tired or this sore

in his life. He flipped on the small tv to see "who shot who" today and poured a shot

of whiskey.

He opened the note that was on the door and turned it a few times to read it correctly.

"Hey. You're a hard person to get ahold of. What the hell happened? I'll stop back

about seven. James." Ennis didn't want to read that today. "Damn. Look at this place", he

muttered. He grabbed the stack of papers off the floor along with the overfilled trash basket

and took them outside to the bin. On the way back, he grabbed the broom and swept

off the leaves from the stairs. Just as he finished a pair of headlights shined around the

corner. Ennis tossed the broom under the porch and lit a smoke, like he'd just been bored

and waiting outside.

"Damn it, Del Mar", James remarked. "I was thinkin' you were dead, for

just disappearing like that. What's goin' on?" "I didn't mean to drop you like that.",

Ennis answered. "Things are bad at Northridge. Half the herd has pneumonia and if we

lose too many we may go under. I've been doing what I can to keep it all going but

things have just gone to hell."

"Sorry to hear that.", James said reflectively. "I should go so you can rest." "No

you're not.", Ennis replied. "You stay as long as you want. Get yourself a beer out

of the icebox, or there's whiskey over in the top cabinet." James helped himself and

then pulled a chair over toward the easychair where Ennis had sat back. "Well, I see

you've been taking care of business, but my question is who is taking care of you?"

"I'm used to being by myself most of the time. It's nothin' new.", Ennis answered.

"You talk to Bobby yet?", Ennis asked. "Yes, I have several times. I miss him somethin'

fierce. He wants to come up hunting or fishing sometime. Maybe over his Spring break

thats's in about two months", James said. "Which reminds me, he sent something in

the mail." James went out to the car and returned with a small box. "He didn't say

twhat's in it, but here you go".

Ennis wasn't sure quite what to do. Should he wait until James left? What was this

all about? He decided to just open it now. It was addressed to him care of James.

He cut open the wrapping with his pocket knife and opened the lid. On the top was

a folded letter.

Dear Mr. Del Mar,

We don't know eachother, but I'm Robert "Bobby" Twist. My dad was Jack Twist

and while he never mentioned you, I can tell you were very close. Daddy kept a box

of your postcards hid up in the attic where we used to live down in Childress. There are

other things, too. I think he would have wanted you to have them since they were kept

with the postcards that you and he wrote. I never mentioned them to my mother.

I'm hoping to meet you someday. Daddy died when I was about eight and I never

knew his friends. I do know that he loved me and he didn't want to cause me any

grief or shame so he didn't say much of why he was gone so much. But I figured

it out over time. I would like you to tell me about him. I'm not ashamed of him, you or

whatever it was that you two meant to eachother. My daddy chose to love you. I can

tell that by the way he wrote and kept your cards in this box. That's all that matters.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Bobby Twist

Ennis was stifled. Never in a million years did he expect something like this to happen.

He sat back in the easy chair not knowing if he even wanted to know what it was that

remained under the tissue paper in the box. He stared at it for awhile, completely silent.

He pulled open the tissue and gazed at the contents. The postcards where there in his

writing and others in Jacks', just as Bobby and James mentioned. His eyes couldn't leave

the last items. Finally he put the box on the small table and gazed out the window at the

new snow beginning to fall outside. He couldn't even look toward James.

James came over and sat down on the floor next to Ennis's chair near the fireplace.

"You gonna let me in cowboy? You don't have to do everything alone. It's ok." Ennis

didn't respond. Just stared outside quietly watching the snow fall. James gently

picked up the box and gazed in. Inside was a belt buckle that read "Interstate Rodeo

Champion - Childress, Texas '63" and along side it a small broken harmonica. James

knew this meant something important, but let Ennis have his time. James watched

the fire flicker for awhile.

After an hour Ennis got up from the chair, eyes unable to meet James' and collapsed

face down onto his bed, burying his face in the blanket and pillows. Never saying a

word. James wondered what it was like to be such an island of a man, in so much

pain and loss, having nowhere to take it. After awhile James noticed Ennis was asleep

and went back to the kitchen and poured another shot of whiskey for himself. He

walked back to Ennis's chair and sat down watching him on his bed from across the

room. He wanted so much for Ennis to say something. Just then he noticed Ennis

mildly shaking. He got up and walked over, sitting down on the floor

by the low bed. He put his hand on Ennis's shoulder and said, "It's going to be ok.

No matter how bad it is, you're not alone. I'm here for you."

Ennis could no longer stand it. He had to fix it. Somehow, some way. As they say,

still water runs deep. And from the very deep ocean of his existence, the very core of his

soul the words finally came out. "I'm sorry Jack! I'm so godammed fucking sorry!"

Ennis sobbed into the pillow, pounding a fist into the mattress. "When you said you

missed me so much you could hardly stand it, I should have come over, held you in

my arms and told you that you'd never be alone again! Oh, damn it. Damn it all, I'm so

sorry I couldn't. I wanted to so bad! Oh god, Jack please forgive me!"

James put his arm over Ennis and just held him tightly. This time it was not his place

to say a word. Nothing was left to be said. And somewhere, elsewhere a pair of big

blue eyes and a smile granted Ennis his forgiveness ten thousand times over, while

thanking a stranger for the kindness, strength and grace to go the extra mile for

his Ennis, in place of himself.

Reflections

The dust clouds along the dirt road in the wind made it nearly impossible to see if

anyone was heading up the road to Ennis's place. He stared out the window off and

on again, wondering if James and Bobby would make it before dark, which would make

it almost impossible to see the road.

James had asked Bobby if he wanted to go up to Riverton and finally meet Ennis after

all of this time. Bobby felt he was ready and James made a place for him in the extra

room at his house in town so he could stay the week.

The Pontiac pulled into the driveway and Ennis went outside and down the stairs to meet

James and his passenger. James got out first and Bobby stepped out on the other side.

Ennis was taken back for a minute with the amazing likeness of Bobby to his father. He

had the same eyes & nose, just a little lighter hair. Ennis couldn't help but smile as the

boy approached.

"Bobby, this is Ennis Del Mar. Ennis, this is Bobby.", James said. "Well did his folks

stop at Bobby?", Ennis asked smiling. "Good to finally meet you Mr. Del Mar.", Bobby

said extending his hand. Ennis took his hand in his and looked him right in the eye.

"I hear you're a pretty good first base down there." "Yes, sir. I'll probably be varsity

when I get to high school next year.", Bobby answered. "I want to be in the minor leagues

someday."

"Thank you for that box you found in the attic. You'll never know how much that means

to me. But you sure you won't want that back some day?", Ennis asked.

"I have all his other things and my mother didn't want anything of his around the house

anyway.", Bobby answered. Ennis felt a confirmation of sorts that Lureen may have known

more than she let on. "Does she ever talk about your daddy?" "Not much", Bobby said.

"She met some guy in Houston and he's all that seems to matter lately." "Well let me tell

you, she loves you just as much as ever. Mothers always do.", Ennis assured him.

The three decided to drive down to Jr. & Francine's cafe, simply because Ennis's trailer

wasn't the best place for company. They walked in and Jr. hugged Ennis and had them

sit by the open air fireplace as always. "Who's this handsome young stranger?", Jr. asked

Ennis & James. "Oh, this is Bobby Twist.", Ennis answered quickly, trying to hide the

awkwardness of the situation. "He's Jack's boy." Jr.'s eyes locked in a gaze to Ennis's for

just a moment. She slowly nodded her head to Ennis in a knowing way, and turned to

Bobby and hugged him. "You always have friends here in Riverton, Bobby." He looked

at her like a long lost friend. What Bobby didn't see were the tears streaming down Jr.'s

face as she walked back into the kitchen.

As the dinner began, Bobby began his questions. Ennis felt that feeling inside stronger

than ever. "Be honest. Don't lie to my boy no matter how it hurts." Ennis stared at the

tablecloth, wondering how the hell he was going to do this. "Help me.", Ennis said to

Jack silently. "My grandma says you went up to her house one day. What happened?

She wouldn't tell me.", Bobby asked. "That's when I found out from your momma that

your daddy died. I went up because your momma said your Daddy wanted his ashes

scattered up in the mountains where he loved to be, and where he & I first met.", Ennis

answered. "Your granddaddy said it wasn't true and that was that. Then later your

grandma said I should go up to his room to see it. I did and it was probably the

hardest thing that ever happened to me in my life. I found an old shirt of mine wrapped

inside one of your daddy's like he was protecting me. I never knew how much he really

loved me until then.", Ennis continued. "I was never sadder than that day. But you need

to know the whole story for any of this to make sense."

Ennis recanted the story of himself and his Jack to Jack's own son. From day one back in

1963 to the day he visited Jack's mother and found the deepest meaning of love, grace,

and honor all in the same day. He ended his story with the strongest words he had ever

been able to say to another person his entire life, and these words were for Bobby. "I loved

your daddy more than life itself. No matter how you feel, no matter what happens from

today on, no matter what people may say, never ever forget this. Nothing is wrong with

loving another person. Anyone that says otherwise will have a lot of apologising to do

someday. Your daddy was the finest man ever to set foot in my life. You are a part of

him and because of that, I'll always have a place in my heart for you." Bobby sat silent

for a moment. Ennis became uneasy inside that maybe he said too much or the wrong thing.

Bobby put his hand on Ennis's arm and said, "I know. He tells me about you every

night when I dream. That's why I'm here."

The months went by and Bobby visited Ennis often. He grew to love this humble man

that worked so hard and had so little to show for it. When the landowner gave Ennis

notice to leave the trailer, James let him move into the second floor of the barn he had

rebuilt out back and had converted into a guesthouse. Heat, plumbing the works.

Ennis being his usual self, paid James rent every week.

It took a few years, but Ennis finally found out that there was room in his life and heart for

another. A certain cowhand at Northridge named Sam, just a little younger, had taken to

Ennis and he found himself falling in love again. And now he also had a friends that

was able to meet him at his level and help him in his life's journey. No more visions of tire

irons. No more fear. No more hate of himself. Ennis had been set free.

And somewhere in another place a pair of deep blue eyes and a big smile was practicing

rope tricks and whistling a quiet song as he walked through the clouds.

The end

In loving memory of David John Gillilan 1954 - 2003

He was my "Jack" and I was his "Ennis". I said "Yes".


End file.
